The fat guy in the red suit: Santa Claus

Christmas is a complicated enough time with all the gift shopping and various events the season requires, why someone added in the myth of keeping Santa alive is beyond me. I suppose it has something to do with the magical feeling kids get when they actually see Santa. I don't have much right to complain here, as I do my best to keep my kids believing. They grow up so fast that I'd like to keep their minds innocent as long as possible.

The past two years this has gotten harder, though, as my oldest gets smarter and her mind gets more mechanical. She has so many questions, trying to make sense of things, and has really put my quick-thinking skills to the test. Why not just tell her the truth and keep her in on the secret, you ask? Because, given her personality, she will most definitely ruin it for her little brother and sister.

One of the steps I took this year was to hide all of the presents in the trunk of my car in the weeks leading up to Christmas. In addition to our gifts from each other, each of the kids gets a gift from "Santa." Since my eldest is very aware of the wrapping paper we have at home, I concocted a back story for Santa's presents.

After the kids went to bed on Christmas Eve, I wrapped up the presents from "Santa" with a special roll I bought for his gifts. There was still plenty of paper left on the roll, and I was worried that if I pulled it out again next year, she would notice. So, I propped the leftover roll against the fireplace and left a note from Santa on a scroll from the wrapping paper: 

"Dear Alicia, Emma and Benjamin,

Thank your for the cookies and milk. They were very good. As you know, each family's presents get wrapped in a different paper. I had leftovers from your family, and it was too heavy for your Dad's stocking, so I left it against the fireplace. 

Love, Santa. 

P.S. You were very good this year."

Later, my daughter was very happy with Santa's honesty and showed the letter to everyone in the family.

The things we say to get them out the door in the morning...

"Strong-willed" is a mild term to describe my oldest daughter. I was worried in the months leading up to kindergarten, because we really had a laid back approach to our mornings. How on Earth I was going to get her to school before 9:00 was a mystery to me.


One of the books on the pre-kindergarten reading list was Joseph Slate's Miss Bindergarten Gets Ready for Kindergarten. My daughter loved it so much that we got our hands on the whole series, and my daughter was mesmerized by the awards given out at the end of Miss Bindergarten Celebrates the Last Day of Kindergarten. One such award is the "perfect attendance" certificate. Whenever my daughter complained about going to school or getting ready in the morning, I reminded her that she wouldn't be able to get the certificate if she missed school. While she still didn't get the certificate because she had more than six tardies (mainly due to traffic), the line worked to get her out of the house in a timely manner.

Covering up a lack of planning: Getting Kids Green

We live in the land of green. Aside from living in the Emerald City in the Evergreen State, surrounded by evergreen trees on all sides, we also happen to live in a region where getting "green" and protecting our environment is beyond trendy. As such, our kids are used to hearing about the importance of saving energy and being green.

My daughter went to a birthday party recently, in which the birthday girl had sent out gorgeous invitations, shaped like cupcakes. When the birthday girl opened up one of the cards attached to a present, she found a card that looked just like her invitation. The girl who gave it to her told her the card was on the other side, where she had drawn a cute picture and written a 'Happy Birthday' message. The birthday girl's mom told her it was a creative idea, to which the young girl replied, "we recycled."

I learned later from the girl's mother that the girl panicked on the way to the party that they didn't have a card, so her mom told her to just make one on the back of the invitation. The girl scoffed, and Mom simply told her, "Honey, that's good. We have to recycle and save the planet." I wish I could take credit for that one, because I thought it was a pure work of genius.

A moment on the serious side: Little People

No, I'm not talking about the chunky Fisher Price toys, here. There is a boy the same age as my seven year old who goes to our church and happens to be a little person. Two summers ago, he was in our group during Vacation Bible School and my daughter got to talking with him. On the way home, she asked me why he says that he's five years old, when he really looks like he's three years old.

This was one of those times when I had to think fast, as my daughter clearly wanted an answer NOW. I also needed to make sure that the answer wasn't too complicated or insensitive. So, I explained to her that everyone is born with these things called 'genes' inside. The genes determine what we look like, and his genes decided that he should have smaller arms and legs than everyone else his age, but isn't he a nice boy? This answer seemed to satisfy her. She has never again mentioned his 'different' look, and I have been able to use those 'genes' again to answer other questions.

Last minute "Leprechaun" sighting tips

I don't remember St. Patrick's Day being about seeing or catching a leprechaun when I was little; I just remember a bunch of pinching and having to come up with excuses for where my green was (it certainly was not a good color on me). Apparently, wearing green is secondary to seeing and/or catching the leprechaun on March 17th. Last year, I helped my daughter's kindergarten teacher paint little green 'leprechaun feet' all over the kids' class work while they were at recess.

This year, the other first grade teacher told her class to build leprechaun traps, but my daughter's teacher did not play into the leprechaun thing at all. So, my daughter put together a quick leprechaun trap in the morning before leaving for school. My intention was to buy some plastic "gold" coins and put them in the trap, but the party stores were completely out. Lesson #1: do not try to buy "gold" coins on St. Patrick's Day. I was able to find a cheap plastic leprechaun hat, so I decided to put that in the leprechaun trap and tell my daughter that he dropped his hat while trying to run out of the trap. Not only did this work, but my daughter was so happy that she immediately called her friend to tell her the leprechaun still came, in spite of the fact that she left him grapes that weren't green. Apparently, leprechauns only eat green foods.

Later, my daughter decided the leprechaun must have stopped by our house before heading over to the church, where her little brother and sister spent their morning. The lady working at the nursery that morning came up with a genius idea: she put green food coloring in the toilet and told the kids that they scared the leprechaun away when they came in the room, so he never flushed, wiped, or washed his hands! Not only did this mesmerize the kids, my older daughter figured out that the reason he had to go to the bathroom at the church was because he ate the purple grapes at our house.

Seat Kicking: one that worked, but I'm not entirely proud of

I recently chaperoned a field trip for my first grader's class. The bus ride was probably a half hour long, and after a full day walking around the zoo, the kids were understandably restless. Since I had the pleasure of sitting with another chaperon, most of the unruliness did not bother me, but about fifteen minutes before we returned to the school, the kids behind us started pushing their knees against our seat and I could tell that the other chaperon was getting a bit irritated.

I turned to the kids and asked, "Have any of you been on an airplane before?" The kids eyed me, suspiciously, and said, "no." "Well," I said, "on airplanes, there is always a grouchy guy sitting in front of you, and if you push against his seat, he'll turn around and point at you, saying 'don't push against my seat!'" I wagged my finger the way the grouchy airplane guy would when I got to that part of the story, and told the kids, "let's practice now, so when you go an airplane, the guy won't turn around and grouch at you."

In all honesty, I know this was probably not the best thing to tell the kids, but they sure kept their feet and knees off of our seat the rest of the way back to school. I could hear that they were still having a good time playing together, too. When we got back to the school, I told them that they did a great job and were ready for an airplane ride.

Taking "yucky" medicine: my inspiration for this resource

The incident that convinced me to start this blog occurred a couple weeks ago. My seven year old daughter caught strep throat and had a high fever. Our first medicinal struggle occurred over taking her Tylenol Jr. Meltaways. Her throat was sore and she did not want to suck on medicine. I told her that was fine; I could stick another pill in her butt crack. The Tylenol was in her mouth before I could blink an eye.

Once she got the strep throat diagnosis, I hit another hurdle with the penicillin. She was supposed to take a teaspoon full, but it tasted so "yucky" that she threw up half of it (literally). After I gave her some water to wash away the bad taste, she told me it tasted too "disgusting" and there was no way it would make her better. My response: the medicine is supposed to taste so bad that it scares away the bad germs. If you don't like it, they really won't like it. From that point on, not only did she take the medicine; she made sure to remind me when it was time for her to take it. A successful explanation in my book!